“I’m not going out. Friday night is family night.”
What?! Any excuse to get out of the house in the evenings was a good one for me when I was homeschooling one, starting a business, nursing another, and had two in diapers.
I didn’t understand it 6 years ago, but I do understand my friend now.
It’s not that my heart didn’t immensely love my kids and family and want to be together...
It’s just that as I walked with the Lord (sometimes lagging or ran away like a toddler needing to be on a leash) in obedience, He’s been super tender to reveal areas slowly where my heart was selfish and missing it.
There wasn’t a Pinterest quote or #momboss post that could have changed me like the reading the Word for myself has...
And can I be honest? Sometimes I don’t want the wisdom and correction. I’d rather leave the book collecting dust.
But peace... when my girls brought me wild violets tonight saying “Happy Birthday! (they’ve declared April my birthday month) This is how much we love you!
Peace is what I seek and peace is in the hard work of surrendering not success story highlights but alone time heartbreaking that probably no one will ever understand but you.
“The deeper into weakness and suffering and testing we go, the deeper Christ’s solidarity with us. As we go down into pain and anguish, we are descending ever deeper intoChrist’s very heart, not away from it.” Dane Ortlund, Gentle and Lowly